Process the Day...
I know I have been absent. Sometimes life just goes so fast and even though I try to grab the threads of every day to slow them down, they can't be grasped.
We are in the midst of packing our house up to move. We kind of knew it was happening a few weeks ago so I spent days sorting and sending van loads of stuff to the second hand store and then when it was official, I started really packing. So I have four weeks to pack up our house.
I think it would be easier if I had two weeks. It would ease the bittersweetness of this move. It would have me so crazy all day packing and sorting that I wouldn't have time to process. Process being farther away from my family, my siblings and their kids. Farther away from friends that have become dearer and dearer as the weeks go by. Community in our small town. The best library I know. The veggie stand we can walk to. The church we love and all of our friends that go there. The neighbors across the street.
All these things. That I want to hold onto and yet I want to push away because I don't want to become closer to friends I will just have to say goodbye to. I don't want to see each meeting or dinner or visit to be "the last one". I don't want to see this as the last of our walks or playgrounds play times. Or putting puzzles together at the library. Or worshiping with friends at church.
It would have been easier to just be so busy packing that I don't have to deal with these things and find myself in tears multiple times a day. I know that we are moving where God has led us and I am over the moon excited for what He has in store but I think I have to give myself space to cry over what I will miss. I mean, really, that pot is worth crying over! Or that hug from a friend or that prayer time in church or that walk on a quiet country road. Or the ability to hang out at my parents or visit my siblings and their families on whim.
I slow down and let tears fall if they must. I enjoy each memory and moment. And I try my best to process and not be overcome with what I will miss that I don't see what I will gain.
We are in the midst of packing our house up to move. We kind of knew it was happening a few weeks ago so I spent days sorting and sending van loads of stuff to the second hand store and then when it was official, I started really packing. So I have four weeks to pack up our house.
I think it would be easier if I had two weeks. It would ease the bittersweetness of this move. It would have me so crazy all day packing and sorting that I wouldn't have time to process. Process being farther away from my family, my siblings and their kids. Farther away from friends that have become dearer and dearer as the weeks go by. Community in our small town. The best library I know. The veggie stand we can walk to. The church we love and all of our friends that go there. The neighbors across the street.
All these things. That I want to hold onto and yet I want to push away because I don't want to become closer to friends I will just have to say goodbye to. I don't want to see each meeting or dinner or visit to be "the last one". I don't want to see this as the last of our walks or playgrounds play times. Or putting puzzles together at the library. Or worshiping with friends at church.
It would have been easier to just be so busy packing that I don't have to deal with these things and find myself in tears multiple times a day. I know that we are moving where God has led us and I am over the moon excited for what He has in store but I think I have to give myself space to cry over what I will miss. I mean, really, that pot is worth crying over! Or that hug from a friend or that prayer time in church or that walk on a quiet country road. Or the ability to hang out at my parents or visit my siblings and their families on whim.
I slow down and let tears fall if they must. I enjoy each memory and moment. And I try my best to process and not be overcome with what I will miss that I don't see what I will gain.
Comments
Post a Comment